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written by Ken Mitten
Do you know where your fights and
arguments come from? They come from the selfish desires that war
within you.
JAMES 4:1 NCV
I had a friend in college who
liked to debate everything. Literally, figuratively and otherwise.
He was a smart guy and knew at least a little bit about everything/
every topic that you might want to know more about as well as
plenty you didn't.... He was a History major and was
particularly passionate about World War II and Winston
Churchill. Without knowing it I think Scottie would pick
(verbal) fights with others to display his knowledge.
These fights were defensive and protective in nature
ultimately.
Scottie was from a small working
class town in Upstate New York and in many ways stuck out at home
and in his family. Stuck out in that he was not like them. The
"freedom" of college life allowed him to be himself ultimately.
There were others to spar with him intellectually. He once told me
that he had an uncle who would often tell him that he was "full
of s#%t and hot air and should go blow somewhere else."
Scottie told this story laughing and in a sense making fun of his
backwards uncle but it clearly hurt him. As I said, he
would pick verbal fights with classmates and even professors, often
belittling others if he believed that they were not capable of
keeping up with him.
As a result, people began to
distance themselves from him. He struggled also with his sexuality
and when he publically announced that he was gay was shocked to
find that he was not accepted by everyone at the liberal arts
college we both attended. This crushed him in many ways and he
became more and more combative, sarcastic and isolative. Scottie
and I had a strange friendship in that we were often able to disarm
each other. I could tell him that he was full of s#%t and hot
air and he would stop fighting. I remember telling him one
night that I was very worried about him. This was long before
I became a Christian but I truly believe that God had everything to
do with me reaching out to him.
Scottie was desperate to not stick
out anymore. He was motivated as we often are by "the selfish
desires that war within us". Our history, where we come from/ how
we have been characterized by our family/our friends follow us into
adulthood. Ever catch yourself in mid-fight or argument and ask, "
Who am I fighting with? And more importantly, why am I fighting?
Why am I arguing?
K
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Ministries 
