written by Ken Mitten
Because thine heart was
tender.
2 KINGS 22:19
My son Eric is eleven and as
anyone with sons (or daughters for that matter) know, it is
difficult to not look at your child at whatever age they are at the
time and be transported back to when you were that
age. For me it is like a portal back to whatever I was struggling
with or enjoying at that time of my life. I had a
portal moment with Eric this weekend.
I was always something of a tender
hearted child. This term, too often I think, has an unintended
negative connotation and will sometimes "translate" as weak. My son
is not weak but he does internalize mean things said to him. He has
not developed trampoline skin yet. Just made
that up. Mean things do not bounce off of him, often he
absorbs these comments.
This weekend he was outside with a
number of other kids soaking in the beautiful day. He came in at
one point after being out there for quite a while and looked
visibly upset. A younger child made a comment about how he looked,
how he was riding his friend's skateboard, etc. and Eric's
friend, who is a year older than Eric, laughed at this comment.
This upset Eric and he immediately got up and walked inside, not
saying a word to either child. When we talked it out a bit it
became clear that Eric was most upset that his friend laughed at
the initial comment. His friend tried to come and apologize but
Eric was not ready to hear this so he stayed in for the night. As
we talked it out I heard myself saying two things: " You may need
to clear the air with him (his friend). It would be a shame
for this friendship to end." Also... "You need to stick
up for yourself and let people know when they have crossed the
line." He nodded understanding but I wasn't sure what made its way
in. As I said, I see myself in Eric and at his age I was surrounded
by adults who were more likely to say "Suck it up." than talk it
out with me. My grandmother was a major exception to this.
I have talked about her here before. That said,
"Sucking it up" did not work for me. Still
doesn't. It just convinced me that I needed to deny who I was,
namely someone who felt things a little bit deeper than others. I
thought of myself as weak. I was not weak. I don't want this for
Eric.
So, anyway....back to Eric. He is
currently up the hill with his friend squirting a garden hose for
some reason or another. The air has been cleared and I know this
because after his friend rang the doorbell this evening, Eric went
outside, came back pretty quickly and was ready to run back
out.
Before he did he said,
" Oh by the way Dad...I cleared the
air!!"
Well there you
go......
K
Ministries 
